I spent half of the past week in bed thinking if I should already write my will. I had fever, sore throat and body pains because of tonsilitis. For 24 hours my fever was intermittent. My temperature would go down to normal after taking paracetamol but would spike up every four hours on the dot. I isolated myself while I was waiting for my swab results so I was alone in my room, tending to myself.
On the 12th hour of my fever, my whole body was in pain and I already wanted to sedate myself. I would wake up hoping I’ve already slept for 3 hours but lo and behold, only 5 minutes have passed. I’ve thought of bad to worst scenarios and was already thinking of what would happen to my BTS albums and other merch if in case my spring day has come.
Thankfully, after 24 hours, the antibiotics kicked in and my temperature stabilized. My COVID swab turned out to be negative.
Phew. It’s OK. Everything will be alright.
On the same day that I was battling fever, another war broke out in the world wide web. A prestigious cosmetic clinic released an advertisement depicting how a woman’s body transformed during the pandemic. She gained weight, she had acne, her facial and body hair grew and it was shown in a very exaggerated way. At the end of the ad, the woman’s friend asked her “Ano nangyari?” and the clinic said “tough times call for beautiful measures”. They want us, women, to ask for their help so we can be beautiful again.
But here’s the deal ladies, we are beautiful now.
We are beautiful even if we gained or lost a significant amount of weight, had acne, or our body hair went out of control. We are surviving a fucking pandemic (in a country with the worse pandemic response).
We are grieving the people, the time, the dreams and the lives this pandemic took from us. Despite this, we are still here because of our beautiful bodies. Our bodies get us through each day. Our bodies have kept us safe and healthy during these tough times. Heck, I gained weight, had some acne and my body hair are less than desirable but it fought off the infection I had a few days ago. It has kept me healthy for the past year until my broken heart met healing.
During this pandemic, I’ve learned that I have a to unlearn a lot of things our society have taught me. My weight, my skin, and my body hair does not define my worth. Believing that we are worthy starts with ourselves but does not always end with ourselves. You have to surround yourself with the right people who see your worth.
If you’re with good people, it’s OK. Everything will be alright.
괜찮아 잘 될 거야
Gwenchana, jal deol geoya
It’s OK, everything will be alright
It’s actually a lyric of a song titled Superstar, an OST from one of my favorite K-Dramas - Hospital Playlist.
The song Superstar was for S02E07 where the episode centered on the younger doctors who are understandably making mistakes and are just being humans. Their seniors are cheering them on, saying it’s OK, everything will be alright.
I already mentioned before how I love this K Drama because of how it accurately depicts the doctor/hospital life. The last episode (S02E08) was not an exception and it was too relatable.
*Akala ko ba drama lang to bakit masyadong makatotohanan ang saket*
It dealt with the guilt feelings of a doctor who, after taking care of a lot of people, couldn’t properly take care of their own loved ones. 🥲
Hay. It’s OK, self. Everything will be alright.
Here’s a music video of the wonderful song I mentioned.
It’s a light and feel good song!
(Pwede pang station ID!)